All of life's problems are solved at the movies

So, I'm sitting here weeping over The Holiday--a film that for whatever reason I gave a pass when it opened--for the same reason why I weep every time I see Crossing Delancy, one of my favorite movie. It's about toxic relationships and our unwillingness to either see them for what they are or to get out of them--and what happens when we are forced out. And this does tie into my recent work disaster. Because we stay there in the hope that it will get better, that somehow through some force of will, we can make them better. The Holiday is written and directed by a woman, of course. Only a woman could understand why we do it and repeat the bad behavior and are surprised by the inevitable end.

And it is a chick flick. I cannot imagine any man who could understand why this movie resonates with women. That sounds like a sexist comment, which it may be, and the movie is not perfect, but it spoke to me. I suppose in both cases, it's the happy ending, both of which are wholly unbelievable. In the case of Crossing Delancy, no guy waits that long and in the case of The Holiday, it was too pat, too predictable. But jeeze, wouldn't it be terrific if life's ends were like movies?

Neither The Holiday or Crossing Delancy elicited the great gulping sobs precipitated by The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio, All Mine to Give or Dumbo, but I wept anyway because there was a lot of truth there. We cripple ourselves by staying in relationships that do us no good and by our hubris: we think this time it will end differently.

Successful people understand timing; the know when to hold and, more importantly, they know when to fold. I never learned that and maybe it is too late. But I keep plodding along, hoping for a happy ending--often feeling like a tennis ball as I bounce for here to there and off the wall back again. There has to be an answer, there has to be a time when I will find that answer. I have no idea how this will end and so far, I have been frustrated in my attempts to move forward toward something new. But I think it must be positive that through no fault of my own I have been shoved out of a bad working relationship, into a whole new and far scarier world toward something else. If my life was a movie, something wonderful would have fallen into my lap. But this is real life, and my way out is not so clear. But I do believe there is an exit sign somewhere.