Keeping busy

I spent the better part of Saturday assembling the exercise bike I ordered when I was employed and could afford such things. Pleased to report that I only sustained one nasty cut, and that from a scissors while opening the box. OK, so I did realized a little late in the game that the enclosed "spanner" had uses. Although initially stumped by the missing bolts to affix the seat, I did eventually find them, on the bottom of the seat. I did not, as it happens, figure out about the computer, which still remains in the box, nor was I successful with that final seat bolt, but it works and I am now in danger of becoming a physically sit senior citizen. I did my 15 minutes, yesterday AND today, but on the lowest setting (without the computer attached apparently I cannot change settings--another good reason for it to remain in the box).

I had a knee replaced in July. Returned after 10 weeks, and was fired. I don't think the two events are related, but who knows. It is still something of a shock that I cannot easily begin riding (even on the lowest setting), but eventually the new knee does what it's suppose to. I have the rest of the knee rehab ahead of me, but I have yards of time and nothing to do.

I assume that other people in this circumstance somehow retire. I don't know how they do that, so I am really concerned. Oh, hell, I had a full blown panic attack this morning--and it's only 9:50 a.m. A number of people, younger and with more energy, believe I should build a freelance business, as if I have the energy to start from scratch what I should have been doing from the beginning. Someone suggested I write a book, but I can think of no subject that might interest anyone.

None of this would have happened had I not been me, had I been another, better person. But it did happen and there is nothing for it but to move along, nothing more to see here. I'm not even angry, just scared.