Johnny Fairplay cries foul and other unreal stories

The things you find on Youtube.com: I don't watch Fox TV, so I had no idea they have their own awards show, honoring Reality TV competitors and participants (they call them "stars," but then they also call their opinion reports "news"). However, I did watch Survivor the season that contestant Johnny Fairplay lied about his grandmother's death to gain immunity and sympathy from his too trusting team members. At the time, I suspected the guy was lying. Fairplay is a real creep who has, apparently, spun his 15 minutes of fame by appearing on whatever low budget reality fest will have him and as a professional wrestler. For his stint on Survivor, Fairplay in October received the trophy as the Most Memorable Reality Performer (talk about an oxymoron). Fairplay was booed by the audience, which included the prostitutes who work at the Bunny Ranch and their pimp (Cathouse, HBO), Mike "Boogie" Malin ( Big Brother), and Janice Dickinson (True Life).

Perhaps trying to be helpful, former child star and world class train wreck, Danny Bonaduce, ambled on stage to inform Fairplay that booing means the audience "hates you." And then he begins to amble off. Fairplay, who is a living example to dumb blonds everywhere, calls to Danny and proceeds to run at him, jumping into Bonaduce's non-waiting arms, wrapping his legs around Bonaduce's waist and begins to dry hump. With the greatest of ease, Bonaduce throws Fairplay over his shoulders. Here's the link, because seeing is believing: Bonaduce flips Fairplay

Anyway, Fairplay goes to the emergency room to deal with his broken teeth and Danny goes home. Naturally, Fairplay files a police report, claiming assault. But the charges are dropped when the Los Angeles DA found that Bonaduce did not intentionally injure Fairplay and his "actions fell within the realm of self-defense.’”

The saga does not end there because now Fairplay is suing everybody: Bonaduce, FOX Reality Channel, producer Natural 9 Entertainment and Boulevard3, the venue at which the event took place. Having done a little research, I find that the suit does not mention Fairplay's drunken state, apparently he'd been hitting the bottle before the event and backstage during the event and that he broke the camera of some woman who dared to take his picture when he left the event under his own power, but in an ambulance. I also found that Fairplay was kicked off Kill Reality in 2006, for defecating on another contestant's bed. Class act meet class act.

In other news, the personal letters of the late Diana, Princess of Wales have been made public in yet another inquest into her death. The inquest is being held, at taxpayer's expense, to quell the rumors instigated by Mohamed Al Fayed that Diana was the target of an assassination plot hatched by Prince Philip. To add insult to injury, correspondence from Diana to the Prince has been introduced to prove that they were on good terms (take that, Paul Burrell). When does too much information become way too much information?

Michael Vick has already been sentenced for perjury and dog fighting,but letters from his family pleading for leniency have appeared on the Internet this week. Leniency in this case means that Vick should pay a fine, that he can easily afford, but not serve time, which inconvenient. This isn't Vick's first run-in with the law, but it may be his most lasting. I can think of no other reason for these letters to be made public, other than to drum up public support for Vick and achieve an early release. His mother explained away Vick's failure of a drug test in September by saying he was distraught by comments made by his father, which indicated that Vick had a long history of dog fighting. I do not believe that Vick's football career is over. That's not how in works in the US. As long as he appears contrite, as long as he is seen to have paid for his crime, and as long as he plays winning ball, the Atlanta Falcons will have him back, and if they won't somebody else will. Vick knew what he was doing, he was not coerced, or forced, perhaps he thought he was above the law. Perhaps he believed that because of his athletic prowess he could get away with breaking the law.